Client: When can you have a website done and what will it cost?
Nerds: We don’t even know what you want yet. Will there be a simple home page? eCommerce? Do you have images and copy ready to go on the site? What are your color schemes?
Client: Look, forget all that. You’re supposed to be the experts at this, YOU do all that. But first give me a flat rate cost, and tell me how long it will take, a day? Three days?
Nerds: Well, this is not enough information for us to quote on, but a small website can be brought online in about a week, and cost about $800, plus domain registration.
Client: What? A week and $800? Are you insane?
Nerds: Think about how much you’d pay your people to create a website in-house. This is a very reasonable price and time frame for a small website… Unless you want us to set you up in WordPress or Drupal so you can create your own pages.
Client: No! I don’t know the first thing about computers. I’ll pay $500. No more.
Nerds: Well, we’ll have to cut corners, but OK. Get us your logos and ad copy and some idea of your color/layout ideas and we’ll get started. Have you thought of a domain name yet?
Client: Yeah. I want Google.com. That way we get more traffic.
Nerds: Haha, but no, you can’t. It’s taken.
Client: Ok, then Business.com
Nerds: Also taken. Tell you what. Here is a website we use to register domain names. YOU register one and let us know what the name is.
Client: OK, I’ll have a guy in the mailroom do that. He has a smart phone, he’s pretty techie. Now Go. Get my site done.
Day 1 Call
Nerds: Look. we really need the domain name, images, logos and ad copy for the site. We have a framework ready, but the whole thing is blank.
Client: Geez, I thought you guys knew this stuff. I’ll look around for the last print ad we did.
Nerds: OK we can use that. Email it to us.
Client: Don’t you have a fax?
Nerds: No, besides if you fax it, we have to pay someone to type it all in again! You already talked the price down so much we can’t do that. Can’t you send us a Word file?
Client: OK, fine, we’ll send it.
Day 2 Call
Nerds: We still have a blank site. Please, we need the domain, copy and logos!
Client: Yeah, I am getting Stan. He was our ad guy back when we made the ads in 2002.
Day 3 Call
Client: Oh, yeah he never called in. You gotta cut him some slack. He’s retired.
Day 4 Call
Nerds: Look, Stan sent us a Word Doc, but it’s just a scan of the print ad! We still have to pay someone to type it all in!
Client: Isn’t that what you wanted? You said you wanted a Word doc.
Day 5 Call
Client: You guys done? Where’s my site? You’ve had a week!
Nerds: Look, we paid someone to type in the text from that crap-quality fax Word doc you sent in. Right now it’s at http://temp.webdesignersheaven.com/ because you never registered a domain name. Give that a look.
Client: OK, hang on. H-T-P-P-D…then what?
Nerds: No… I sent you a link – check your email.
Client: OK, so I copy this… what’s the copy thingy again?
Nerds: No, just click it. Click the link in the email. It’ll open a browser.
Client: Click… Copy…
Nerds: No. Not Copy . Just click it or double click it.
Client: So, cut then?
Nerds: No. Just double click the underlined link.
Client: Oh, Shit! Oh God! What is this CRAP? I am NOT paying for this! You need to fix this! You damned thieves, you expect to get paid for THIS? Where is the purchase button? Where is the slick cool webby stuff? You guys suck! My 8 year old son can do better than this with crayons, scissors, and a Cheerios box!
Nerds: Sir, we did the best we could with the nothing you gave us.