Winnowing

Luke 3:17: His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.

I know that sounds like the good people will be gathered to heaven, while the evil people will be cast out, but I have always believed that the winnowing process is also one that goes on in ones own life.  For instance, you may find yourself lying to your friends and family about something, and the constant work of the Holy Spirit in your life is there showing you with increasing personal discomfort how this is a problem for you in your life.

Some people are instantly convinced and turn from their errors right away.  Others take a vast part of their lives to learn that the thing that they desire so badly is the cause of their problems.

In my case it’s not a massive sin or anything, it’s just a long time nerdy addiction to video games.  I have recently come to the realization that those games exist solely to waste my time and prevent me from forming real, healthy relationships with other people.  Real people.  This addiction held me back greatly in business, family, and social life.  Frankly, I’m glad to be rid of it.

But, now it’s NOW.  What do I do with the 30+ hours of my week I was wasting?  It’s not like I have other things I was pursuing.  It’s not like I have any real-life friends to spend my time with.  It’s not like I have any other hobbies.

Winnowing has left me empty.  I have no desire to go back, I actually view the games as life-eating monsters, but what now?  I have been filling my time taking care of some things I had been putting off, and I have tried my hand at a few things I had always wanted to try.  But sadly, I have the feeling that my life has already largely passed me by.

So I fill my time with Netflix, and goof around with the dog.  I know that what I have lost is the dead weight of my life, but I’m just waiting for something to come fill me up.  And I have this dreadful fear that my something flew past me decades ago and I never even noticed.

And of course where do I share this but on a blog that no one reads?  I guess I just needed to type it in to make myself feel better, to help me endure the waiting.

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